Revenge of the Blog

Star Trek Redux Featuring The Messiah

2009-05-04T11:08:00.014-04:00

Though I have been too busy to spend a great deal of time fawning over the new Star Trek movie, I have to say that I have been quietly ecstatic about it since I saw the teaser trailer. I'd love to say that I am simply a movie buff, but really I'm just kind of a dork. I wanted to post something discussing the movie, but I never thought I would find myself simultaneously posting about another topic I've been wanting to address.

I noticed the cover of the May 4th edition of Newsweek in the grocery store and, naturally, I picked it up. The cover story, "How 'Star Trek' Taught Us To Dream Big", sounded promising.

GOTCHA! Damn, they fooled me again.

The article gets off to a great start discussing Star Trek past and present, and the players involved in the latest iteration. Then towards the end, I finally learn what the article is really about. In an article about a Star Trek movie, the author somehow manages to fulfill BOTH of the media's favorite fetishes: Bush bashing and Obama worshipping.

The Bush bashing doesn't bother me, aside from the fact that it is 8 years old and I'm simply tired of hearing about it. However, the incessant Obama worshipping is just bullshit journalism. I can't even read an article about Star Trek without hearing how, like Mr. Spock, the President is "unflappably logical" in spite of the fact that he also has "prominent ears". The piece reads like one of those pamphlets that evangelical Christians walk around passing out. They warm you up with a long, unrelated story and then... BAM! All of a sudden in the last paragraph, the moral of the story is that ~~Obama~~ Jesus loves you.

I don't even want to get into whether Obama is worthy of the praise that is lavished upon him by his media disciples. The point is, he is a POLITICIAN. Wait 4 years or so, then you can worship him in hindsight if you still see just cause. Until then, do your job: BE CRITICAL.

Oh yeah, and about the movie... I can't wait. I think Zachary Quinto is the only person alive who could pull off the Spock character. When I first heard he was in the movie, I felt like they must have asked him to get on board first and then built the entire movie around him. From what I've read it sounds like they did just that, as a significant part of the story is based around Spock. Leonard Nimoy supposedly has a prominent role as an older Spock or something. Hopefully the movie won't be a disappointment.

So thanks to the asshole at Newsweek who ruined what could have been a really good article about the staying power of Star Trek. See you in the theater. Live long and prosper. And remember... Jesus loves you.

Grading Obama's 100 Days Speech

2009-04-30T09:58:00.003-04:00

Sometimes the youth say it best.

On President Obama's 100 days speech last night, my son had only this to say:

"He has really big ears ... and he says 'uhhh' a lot".

Yes, son. Yes he does.

An Open Letter to Dov Charney and American Apparel

2009-04-17T09:51:00.014-04:00

Dear Mr. Charney et al.,

In the latest of many previous missteps, American Apparel illegally used Woody Allen's image on several billboards. The actor/director is now suing AA for 10 million dollars.

As a stockholder, I can't express enough how frustrated I am with AA. I made a long term commitment to the organization since it went public, yet you continue to disappoint me again and again. I keep hoping for some sort of meaningful and sustained commitment to positive changes in business practices, but no such luck thus far. You want to be taken seriously by investors, but don't seem interested in making decisions that reflect that. The brand is hip and fun, but that does not mean investors are just going to throw themselves at your feet.

The economy will recover, and conditions should get better. I have lost money and opportunity, but I don't intend to pull out now. I invested in the company because I liked the potential and it appeared that the fundamentals were in place for growth. I hope I wasn't wrong. All I can do is ride out the tough times and hope for the best going forward. What will the future hold for the company? Who knows. But for God's sake, wake up people. A publicly traded corporation should know better.

Sincerely,

DougLife

Revenge of the Blog

P.S.

Woody Allen = not hot and not worth $10 million

The scantily clad women that everyone constantly whines about = $$$

Do You Like Fishsticks?

2009-04-16T12:21:00.002-04:00

If you didn't catch or haven't heard about the "Fishsticks" episode of South Park that aired last week, you can watch it here. This is the long overdue parody of Kanye West. Amazing.

If that isn't enough for you, the full-length version of the Gay Fish song can be heard here.

The Economist Falls Flat

2009-04-14T09:26:00.004-04:00

Professor David Buckner, apparently not satisfied with his explanation of economic collapse, decides to demonstrate for Glenn Beck. Hilarious.

Back In Action

2009-04-14T08:14:00.002-04:00

Unfortunately for me, procrastination.blogspot.com was already taken. That would have been the perfect URL for me.

Ironically, their last entry was in 2005.

Okay, Okay

2008-08-26T10:53:00.004-04:00

So I'm the worst blogger ever, tell me something I don't know.

Create your own motivational poster at despair.com

A Word Of Thanks

2008-07-03T11:00:00.005-04:00

Revenge of the Blog would officially like to thank Christopher Hitchens for finally ending the debate on whether or not "waterboarding" should be considered torture.

The journalist martyred himself by volunteering to be subjected to the "torture" so he could write a piece about it in Vanity Fair. To make a way too long and dramatic story short, the only ill effects he reports from the "torture" is that he had some trouble sleeping at night afterwards. Keep in mind that he is merely a wimpy journalist, not a battle hardened soldier.

Maybe it's just me, but I always figured that torture could be defined as something so bad, no normal person would ever want to volunteer for it.

You can see the video of it here. It's pretty funny. By the way, is that Enigma playing in the background? Now THAT is torture, no bucket required.

Nice Kitty

2008-07-02T08:02:00.004-04:00

New photos from National Geographic...

The elusive Central Asian snow leopard

Separated At Birth?

2008-07-02T07:49:00.004-04:00

Redmond

C.B. Dollaway, UFC fighter

Photo Of The Week - Supplemental Edition

2008-06-26T07:54:00.006-04:00

before....

and after....

I watched this fight again last night. She really was fighting hard the whole time despite her injuries. Truly impressive. In fact, she told fighthype.com that she is planning on getting back in the ring as soon as she is cleared by her doctor. Her jaw was broken in TWO places and will be wired shut for five weeks. Damn.

Photo Of The Week

2008-06-25T08:43:00.007-04:00

Kim Couture, wife of five-time UFC Champion Randy Couture, in her professional MMA debut. The first punch of the fight actually broke her lower jaw bone. She also suffered a broken nose, but managed to stay in it for the full three rounds. Wow. Mad respect for her resilience, but I have to wonder why the fight wasn't stopped.

DougLife's Deal Of The Week

2008-06-12T22:52:00.003-04:00

If you need a deal on a cell phone/service you can do no better than the so-called SERO plan from Sprint. If you haven't heard of this it is a 'employee referral program' that any moron can easily hack into. Basically it works like this:

1. Go to www.sprint.com/sero

2. Enter a sprint employee e-mail address (either find one from the internet or just use savings@sprintemi.com)

3. Enjoy access to cheap phones and amazing deals on service plans.

For example, $30/month will get you:

500 minutes / unlimited nights and weekends
Unlimited text messaging
Unlimited data (usually $30/month by itself with most carriers)

Hard to believe I know, but supposedly this works. I used to have Sprint and I really didn't have any problems with the service despite their notoriously poor customer service.

If you want to try this check here or here first to get some tips/info from others who have already done this. Let me know how you fare.

I Wish I Had Tattoos But Just On Saturday Night

2008-06-07T22:09:00.005-04:00

Wow. I can't wait to see some poser wearing one of these in public.

But wait... it will only cost you $187.00 plus tax to look like a complete tool.

From the description... "Tiny rhinestones accent the front and sleeves for additional flair." Rhinestones?! Flair?! Neither of those words should appear anywhere in men's anything. Lame.

Photo Of The Week - Premiere Edition

2008-06-03T09:45:00.006-04:00

Ouch.

This Just In: Hulk Hogan Is A Scumbag

2008-05-29T14:14:00.005-04:00

TMZ.com released tapes of The Hulkster and his son talking over the phone from jail.

Listen to this piece of trash offer to help his son launch a new reality show so he can "make the most money" as soon as he gets out of jail. Really unbelievable.

Warning

2008-05-29T13:29:00.004-04:00

Do not click on this link!

It takes you to an online 'indie' game called Boomshine which is terribly addictive and will likely subject you to hours of wasted time and productivity.

I only posted this to warn people.

Again I say, do not click the link below.

Boomshine

BTW... the music is very calming

Deal Of The Week - Premiere Edition

2008-05-28T14:48:00.006-04:00

The first ever Deal Of The Week is the newly launched cmart.com

Baltimore/D.C.'s best kept secret now sells their dirt cheap designer goods online.

The slow demise of my favorite store in history begins now. Unfortunately, their success and new business strategy of actually trying to make a decent profit will surely result in higher prices as they expand their brand and attract new customers.

But I digress... the shipping is free and the bargains are many.

www.cmart.com

Somebody Call The Waaaambulance!

2008-05-28T12:02:00.003-04:00

Former Klansman and current senior/senile member of the United States Senate, Robert Byrd gives a weepy shoutout from the Senate floor to fellow left winger Ted Kennedy who, if you haven't heard, was just last week diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think terminal brain cancer is funny at all, but listening to this sniveling old redneck sob is a real treat. As you watch this, bear in mind that this crazy old man is third in line for the presidency if disaster were to strike. Scary.

Obama Delivers Memorial Day Speech To Crowd of Tombstones

2008-05-28T11:50:00.004-04:00

"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."

oops.

Launch

2008-05-28T11:45:00.001-04:00

The official blog of the REAL DougLife has just launched. Look out world.